Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
third nipple confirmed
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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