I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
