she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
