I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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