And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
