You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
