i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
These tits shall not be calmed
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
