grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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