I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
