Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
