butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
love makes seman taste better
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Randomize