drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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