My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
