friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
