called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
