So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
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