everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
