Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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