Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
