it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
