This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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