Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
We had to coat check the pizza.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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