Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
