she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
