I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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