I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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