I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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