Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Can i not drive my cunt home
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
