There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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