why didn't you poke me back
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
