butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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