No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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