You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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