Me. At least after what I've been through.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
