Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
