Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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