I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
