Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
