I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
