u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
