There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
We just shotgunned beers for America
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
