He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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