Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
