Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
