3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
