those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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