whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
