who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
