I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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