HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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