please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
