you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
